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Be Yourself (Unless You're An Asshole)

from Grumpy Pants by Joe Rut

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lyrics

Ever since you were three
Your mother told you to be yourself
Be what you're gonna be
You can't pretend that

But how could she have known
The you to which you've grown?
If she could see you now
she might amend that to:

Be yourself unless you're an asshole
And then do us all a favor
just be someone else

Look, I'm agreeing with you
I think your car's cool too
Just maybe not so cool that it needs 2 spaces
And from the key marks on your door
I'll bet you've parked like this before
Close your eyes now
Picture your parents' faces singing:

Be yourself unless you're an asshole
And then do us all a favor
just be someone else

Think of all the time you've wasted
Being an asshole
All the bitter victories you've tasted
Cuz you were an asshole
Think of all the time you spent
Doing what she said instead of what she meant
Like hiding all your stolen art
In a Bavarian castle
(No you're thinking of Hitler)
[my bad]

Ever since you were three
Your mother told you to be yourself
Just be the best YOU that you can be
But it should come as no surprise
Mothers tend to generalize
And you'd be best as someone else entirely

Be yourself unless you're an asshole
And then do us all a favor
just be someone else

credits

from Grumpy Pants, released April 28, 2020
(2017)
Joe Rut - all the stuff

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Joe Rut Oakland, California

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